Today I had a plan...

Something I felt I had to do.
Something I felt needed to be done.
I pride myself on my ability to see the truth, to see reality.
And I thought that this was a reality that couldn't be ignored.
But then, at that moment of truth, something changed.
And minds and hearts were opened up further than they'd ever been opened.
And words were spoken easier and more comfortably than ever.
Hands were held, kisses were given, and even a change of heart was had.
I set out to do something today, and I completely and utterly... failed.
I had been feeling selfish.
I had been feeling like I was lying to the world and to myself.
But maybe I'm just a little too careful.
Maybe I'm just a little too stubborn.
Hold that thought, I know that I'm a little too stubborn.
But where to go now?
I feel that my task isn't over.
I feel that it still has to be done.
And now, you see my dilemma.

My heart is telling me something.
But my head doesn't want to listen.

Welcome to 2009!

It's the beginning of yet another year.
The Christmas rush is coming to an end and everything is about to get very quiet as people gear down to get ready for the year to come.
I spent my New Years at Victoria Park in London with some good friends this year, and I must say, I had an awesome time.
Jagermeister, Red Bull and no pants parties seem to bring a good, fun crowd, haha.
I did manage to find myself a New Years kiss, and then I managed to drunkenly ask said person to be my boyfriend.
Which is really not at all bad considering he said yes and considering that I don't regret it, since I do happen to like him a lot.
So far, the first 23 hours of the new year have been good ones and I hope the good hours are here to stay.

Now, every new year people always ask each other the question, "What is your New Years resolution?", and upon being asked this I decided that I am not going to have one.
The way I see it is, why do we have to have a "New Years resolution"?
Why should the new year be your only excuse to change or fix something that you had all of the previous year to change or fix?
This year, for me, is the year of "doing".
I am going to get out there and do. Stop talking about it and just do.
I am going to try, going to give my best effort.
I'd like to say that this is the year that I will not fail but we all know that failure is a part of life.
So I am going to try and I am going to fail but I am not going to give up.
I feel like this is going to be a good year for me.
And I feel like you, whoever you are, should try your best to make it a good one for yourself.